When in Doubt

This week has been a little of a struggle. I keep thinking about what if's and that is never a good thing. Sometimes you just need to stay in the moment and not worry to much about the future but I couldn't help but think about whether these last few days have been some of the lasts for Lillie. I know that God will care for Lillie during the surgery. I know that His hand will be with the surgeons but I also don't know His plan. If He sees that Lillie will bring more glory if she is no longer able to walk, then that is what will be. This scares me alittle but I know it is a possibility. I am scared for her and for what she would endure if this is His will but I also know that He can still do miracles. Not that Lillie's surgery would have to be a miracle for her to continue functioning as she does now but there is also a major risk that she will no longer to be able to run and walk and crawl and chase her brothers.
I was thinking about this at church this Sunday. We are staying at my parents house in order to be close to Dallas when the time comes for the surgery on Wednesday. It brought me to tears as we sung about the angels being around us. I know that God's presence and His angels most certainly will have a presence on Wednesday. I am hoping that she feels this and it isn't too much of a trauma for her. I am praying that she will continue to be the happy, bright and smiling girl I see today and that she will get through this without terrible pain.
During the sermon, Lillie went to Children's church and when she came back to the pew, she brought her art work. I was so engrossed in thought about getting everyone out to the car that I didn't really take the moment to look clearly at her picture. As we were driving home, Christopher and I were discussing the upcoming events. We are both obviously worried and this discussion was not unlike others we have had, the only difference is that it is coming fast and this was our last Sunday to gain strength for the coming days. As we were talking, I looked down at the picture I was carrying that Lillie had made. It had a trace of her two little feet and the title was "Jesus Healed a Man Who Couldn't Walk". There was nothing else to say as we both cried and drove home. God's hand is holding Lillie right now and no matter what happens, He can do Miracles!! He will get us through this and He will use Lillie to remind us of His Awesome Power even if it turns out differently than we hope. Please continue to pray and lift her up to Christ....This is His Hour and we will hand our worries to Him.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalms 139:14